The room filled with merry singing from family & friends wishing Nandita & Shaurya a ‘Very Happy 27th anniversary’. Despite the cheer around, Nandita was a bit withdrawn and wondering was everything really happy! She caught her reflection in the mirror, wearing a saree of her husband’s choice, a few grey hairs showing up, smiling at the guests, pouring food that was not her favorite, encouraging people to dance to music she understood nothing about. Really…was it her anniversary?? Years had rolled by looking after the needs of her family. For her, it was always what the children wanted or what her husband liked. She almost did not recognize her own reflection!  At that moment, something within her snapped and the process of change was initiated.

The next morning, she put on her headphones and played her favorite song. She loved the melody and the nostalgia made her smile. She started walking on the treadmill. She remembered how much she loved exercising and was glad she had taken out the time today…

Suddenly the song changed. It was the song they danced to during her college days.  What fabulous days! All her friends had been so surprised at her dance moves. Everyone complimented her…. lost in her thoughts, smiling, she broke into her favorite dance moves… NANDITA in her true element!! Her thoughts were broken as she saw Shaurya. She quickly removed her headphones & stopped exercising. He was smiling & asking her teasingly who she was thinking about and smiling. She punched him lovingly and moved towards the kitchen, offering to bring him his usual cup of coffee. “Oh, don’t worry I have already brewed some coffee. Join me if you want some”, said Shaurya. She was pleasantly surprised because it was a task she had performed since the day she had set foot in this house. It seemed like it was her duty. She just believed that the needs of every member of the family must be put before hers. It hit her like a bolt that Shaurya had never really demanded that she attended to his every need. It was she who always put herself last. Very often we women just assume the role of a martyr, believing, that is what is expected of us. We undermine our own self-image and self-confidence.

A person displaying poor confidence is often relegated to the back. Let’s not forget that everyone appreciates a confident person and self-love definitely adds to your confidence. It builds your self-esteem & self-worth. When you respond better to your own reflection, you feel better, you act better and people respond to you better.

Even your family connects & shares with you better. The atmosphere is more vibrant. To bring about this change, begin by loving yourself. To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness. How you love yourself is how you teach others to love you.